Phoebe: All right, it seems pretty simple. Your first line is "My name is Claude", so, just repeat after me. "Je m'appelle Claude".
Joey: Je de coup Clow.
Phoebe: Well, just... let's try it again.
Joey: Ok.
Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude.
Joey: Je depli mblue.
Phoebe: Uh. It's not... quite what I'm saying.
Joey: Really? It sounds exactly the same to me.
Phoebe: It does, really?
Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: All right, let’s just try it again. Really listen.
Joey: Got it.
Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude.
Joey: Je te flouppe Fli.
Phoebe: Oh, mon Dieu!
Joey: Oh, de fuff!
Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude.
Joey: Je do call blue!
Phoebe: Noooo! Ok, maybe if we just break it down. Ok, let's try one syllable at a time. Ok? So repeat after me. "je".
Joey: je.
Phoebe: m'ap
Joey: mah
Phoebe: pelle
Joey: pel.
Phoebe: Great, ok faster! "je"
Joey: je.
Phoebe: m'ap
Joey: mah
Phoebe: pelle
Joey: pel.
Phoebe: Je m'appelle!
Joey: Me pooh pooh!
Phoebe: Ok, it's too hard, I can't teach you!
Joey: What are you doing?
Phoebe: I, I have to go before I put your head through a wall.
Joey: Don't move! Don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Shah blue blah! Me lah peeh! Ombrah! Pooh.
Tape: We will now count from one to five. Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq.
Joey: Huh, un, blu, bla, flu, flenk!
Tape: Good job.
Joey: Thank you.
Phoebe: Hey Joey.
Joey: Hey!
Phoebe: Listen, I feel really badly about yesterday and I thought about it a lot and, and I know, I was too impatient. SO let’s try it again.
Joey: Oh, no, that's okay, I don't need your help. I worked on it myself and I gotta say, I am pretty good!
Phoebe: Really, can I hear some of it?
Joey: Sure, sure. Ok, "Bleu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu" See?
Phoebe: Well, you're not, you're not... you're not... again, you're not SPEAKING FRENCH!
Joey: Oh well I think I am, yeah and I think I'm definitely gonna get the part.
Phoebe: How could you possibly think that?
Joey: For one thing, the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job!
Director: Whenever you're ready Joey.
Joey: Right. Dja bu bu Claude. Uh, c'est la pu les la lu blah bloo.
Casting assistant: I'm sorry, what's going on?
Joey: Dude, come on! French it up!
Director: Joey, do you speak French?
Joey: Toutes la smore! Bu blu-ay bloo blah ooh! Pfoof!
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over.
Phoebe: Uh, excuse me. Uh, I am Reginé Philange. I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the regional dialect of my French town of Estée Lauder.
Director: You really think this man is speaking French?
Joey: Sa-sa-saw!
Phoebe: Écoutez, je vais vous dire la vérité. C'est mon petit frère. Il est un peu retardé. (Translation: Listen, I will tell you the truth. He's my little bother. He's a bit retarded.)
Phoebe: Alors, si vous pouviez jouer le jeu avec lui... (Translation: So, would you please just humor him?)
Director: Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part.
Joey: Ah. All right. But my French was good?
Director: It was great.
Joey: Oh-hoh! Ha-hah! See!
Phoebe: Merci. Au revoir. (Translation: Thanks, goodbye.)
Joey: Yeah-hah. Toute-de-le-fruit.
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